Dwell On It: Loving Someone with an Alternative Lifestyle

Question: How should Christians show love to someone who is LGBTQ+?

Answer: To begin, please remember that you are talking to a person that is made in God’s image and someone that God loves, regardless of life choice(s). Every person has a background, along with emotions, feelings, opinions and thoughts that are all tied to their background. I would start by asking yourself, ‘how can you show that person Jesus Christ?’ Something very important we must remember to never do is throw stones. If this person does not claim to follow Jesus, understand that they are truly blind to the truth that they are living in sin. No one comes to a genuine relationship with Christ after being treated harshly by those who profess to love and follow Him. Romans makes it very clear we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. No one person is any better than another person. We are fallen sinners in need of our Lord and Savior every day.  Being kind and showing compassion may be the very thing that makes someone internally question what you have that others don’t. If given the opportunity, ask about their life (where they are from, what they are interested in, etc.). If you’re talking to someone with an alternative lifestyle, they may be starting to question their decisions, and your kindness towards them may have earned you a slight bit of trust in them. In this case, make it crystal clear how much you love them, and that you are not sitting in judgement over them. Ask if they have heard the gospel of Jesus Christ. If they have not, ask if you can share it with them.

If the person does profess to be a Christ follower, then once again, no throwing stones. Christ sets the perfect example of this with the woman caught in adultery in John 8. Jesus says, “Thou without sin cast the first stone”. Again, we all sin. We all fall short of God’s standard. However, Jesus then looks to the woman and says, “Go and sin no more”. He did not throw stones, but he also does not condone her sin. He acknowledges it and is willing to forgive us, but He is not willing to say our sin is ok. The bible is clear - alternative lifestyles are sinful. But they are not anymore sinful than extra-marital affairs, viewing pornography, or any other sexual sin. It is important to not “rank” sins or levels of sin.

Ultimately when it comes to a discussing with a person who professes to follow Jesus, relationship is really key–meaning, how close are you to that person? Is it someone you just met at work? Or is it a family member you are very close to? If the relationship isn’t very close, then maybe the Holy Spirit’s leading in this scenario is to get closer to that person so that they would be open to having a conversation.

Is there a black-and-white to this scenario? Yes, in the sense of the Bible is clear on homosexuality. However, this scenario is on many occasions much more nuanced than black-and-white. It likely comes down to how close are you to that person relationally and how open are they to having that conversation?

Remember, it’s all about Jesus. It’s not about us “winning an argument” or “proving ourselves right”. The enemy will try to get our focus off of the goal, which is the person we are talking to walking away from the conversation closer to Jesus than when they entered it—and the same goes for us. Resist anything that will take away from that goal; focus on Jesus and His truth and grace.